walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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