I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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