You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
