I need help removing her.
do herpes really smell.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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