And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
