i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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