Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
