garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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