I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
