I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
