Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
