i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
