So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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