I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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