Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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