I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
