i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
