Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
