Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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