Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone shit on the floor
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Congratulations! We have a period
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
