Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
