just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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