Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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