My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
