Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
