I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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