im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
A+ Viking dick
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
