im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
