If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
