We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
