I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
