i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
