He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
