Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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