I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
