just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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