none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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