He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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