is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
