# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
