the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
