And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
