you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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