Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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