sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did I show you my penis last night?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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