i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
