i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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