I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
