did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
