what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My balls are so social today.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
