We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
